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Be Still

The response from my essay on my personal struggles with anxiety was pretty overwhelming. I always “knew” I wasn’t alone, but now I KNOW I’m not alone. So many of you reached out saying you experienced some of the same things I described. While it hurts my heart that so many of you are in this boat suffering with me, I know we can encourage each other as we care for and heal ourselves.

Last time I talked a lot about my faith and the aspects of it that get me through anxiety daily. Please know that is the foundation of everything for me. My salvation in Jesus Christ is the basis upon which everything else is built. But I also want to talk about a few of the concrete tools I’ve begun to practice that help me deal with the physical symptoms as well.

Like I’ve already told you, my anxiety manifests itself as guilt, shame, and doubt. I want to talk now about the physical manifestation of those emotions for me. My therapist asks me a lot to describe how it physically “feels” when I’m experiencing anxiety. For a long time, I was confused, because I couldn’t feel my heart racing faster than “normal.” Then it finally hit me that my constant, baseline state is at such a heightened level of anxiety that my heart is racing all the time. I become aware of my anxiety when I feel a tightness in my chest, just like an elephant has decided to plop down there. As he (my therapist) encouraged me to LISTEN to my body and recognize when I was experiencing that feeling, I realized I feel it all. the. time. I didn’t know it was “off” because that’s how it always is.

That realization was at once frightening and comforting. Yikes that I’m always at a level 5 but comforting that I can now recognize it. I’ve now learned that if I regularly check in with myself and see if that tightness is there, I can do what I need to do to get it to ease off just a tad. Now, when I hit levels 6-10, that’s when I can really feel my heart pounding and I get a myriad of other physical reactions—cold sweat, dry mouth, jumbled thoughts, zero fuse, etc. My goal is to keep myself at a 5 or below, so things don’t get to that point.

A particularly triggering time for me is the morning in the shower. I find myself running through the list of things I need to get done right away that day—things at work, things in the house, things for Bo’s schoolwork, things for my civic and mission involvement, things for church, and the list goes on and on. I feel trapped in that shower and aggravated that I can’t get started right away checking things off. It actually makes me frustrated that I have to stay in the shower to finish getting ready. Now if you’ve read any of my other posts about cleaning and laundry, you know I like to be clean! I wouldn’t dream of skipping my shower. This just goes to show how that never-ending reel in my brain won’t let up even during a necessary task. Now that I can recognize that tightness in my chest as I’m running through my to-do’s, I can try to mitigate it with the best tool my therapist has taught me—breathing.

Yep, for a type A, get it done person like me, being told to stop and deep breathe just didn’t suit. It’s completely contrary to what I’m trying to do—accomplish things, not sit still. As hard as my head is though, I decided what did I have to lose? Worst case scenario, I would have wasted two minutes that I could have used getting stuff done. So, I tried it. I stopped washing my hair and just stood there under the water, just breathing and being. In through my nose and out through my mouth. In with the good and out with the bad. And you know what?? It worked! I could feel the tightness in my chest easing off just a bit. That elephant didn’t get up and walk away, but maybe he picked up one cheek.

Now I try to do that when I become aware of that tightness. It may be when I’m driving and my kids are asking me to turn the volume up on their movie or start it over again (I can quote all 4 Ice Age movies in my sleep), or before I make what may be a stressful phone call, or just when I find myself caught in a spiral of “gotta get it doneness.” While I’m breathing I sometimes try to focus on one of my key saving grace verses like Genesis 50:20 and try to etch it into my brain on top of the chaos. Do I catch it every time? Of course not. Do I still reply with a curt response when I should have taken a moment to breathe and answer in a more loving tone? You bet I do every single day. But, I’m trying. I’m breathing and I’m just being and most importantly, I’m recognizing what my body is trying to tell me. I’m listening to myself and trying to be kinder to myself.

Why don’t you give it a go, too? If you feel your pulse start to pick up, or your palms start to get sweaty, just stop and be still for a moment. Take several deep breathes in through your nose and out through your mouth. If you’re at work, go in the bathroom or go sit in your car. Take 2 or 3 minutes to take care of YOU and then face whatever it is you need to deal with. I can promise you, the list isn’t going anywhere. It will still be there when you come back, you’ll just have a bit clearer mind and a bit calmer focus to take it on.

I’ve also started meditating. There are many different ways to meditate, and I’m no pro, but I’ll tell you what is working for me. After I put Georgia down for bed and while Russ is still reading to Bo, I have a few minutes when I’m completely alone. I try to make myself sit down and meditate for 3 minutes. Yep, just 3 minutes is all my scattered brain can manage so far. They say that’s the reason they call meditation a practice, because you have to work at it. What is working for me now are the Headspace and Insight Timer apps.

Headspace has great guided meditations with a delightful soothing voice that you can set for 3 or 5 minutes, and I’ve found it to be very informative and educational about how our brains work. This is one area where I am decidedly NOT an overachiever, and I’ve just stuck with 3 minutes. Insight Timer has tons of features, but what I’ve used most is the “timer” where I can set the duration, ambient sound, and ending bell. Again, I use 3 minutes as my duration, usually choose a soothing flowing brook as the ambient sound, and a Dengze bell as the ending sound. When I first started, 3 minutes felt like an eternity. I felt like there were a bunch of grasshoppers hopping around in my brain telling me—get up, go load the dishwasher, make sure Bo’s bookbag is packed for tomorrow, aren’t there some empty hangers in the closet you should move down to the laundry room, when did you last clean out the dishwasher filter???? But after several days, the 3 minutes was up before I knew it. When I’m finished I feel much lighter. That tightness has released considerably, and I feel like it’s a great way to begin to unwind from the day for me. Again, do I have this mastered? Absolutely not. Do I do it every single night? Now way. But when I do, I can FEEL a difference. Meditation can be whatever it needs to be for you. Maybe it’s praying silently in the morning or the evening. Maybe it’s your quiet time in the Word. Maybe it’s locked in the bathroom stall at work because you just can’t anymore. I don’t think there’s a right way or a wrong way, I think the key is that you take time, be still, breathe, and be kind to yourself.

I have a beautiful piece of Haitian metal art in my office where I can see it from my desk as a constant reminder that says Be Still. My dear friend gave it to me after we’d gotten home from one of our trips to Haiti together. We were on one of our lunch dates (which literally give. me. life.), and I said that I thought I just needed to be still and listen to that small, true voice in my heart when dealing with my anxiety. She showed up at my house later that day with the artwork because she now knew that’s why God had led her to get it. She told me when she’d gotten it, she hadn’t really known what she was going to do with it or who she was going to give it to. It just spoke to her when we were in the artisan’s shop, and she knew she needed to get it. Don’t you just love friendships like that?? We weren’t meant to travel this road alone. God puts angels in our lives all along the way, and sometimes they prop us up and sometimes we prop them up. As another dear friend told me when I was thanking her for letting me lean on her, “we have a mutual lean so we can stand together, bound by Christ.” What a beautiful visual of love and sisterhood.

I’d love to hear what you do to help mitigate the physical symptoms of anxiety in your life. It just may be the thing that gives someone else a but more peace. Try to breathe this week, maybe give meditation a go, reach out to a friend to share, but above all else, take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. I think it’s no coincidence that I’m writing this as South Carolina and much of the Southeast prepares for Hurricane Florence. I don’t like situations with lots of unknowns and where I’m not in control, and this is certainly ones of those. Take care of each other and be safe. Know you’re not alone.

With love and prayers for a Happy Home,

Jennifer Be Still

Featured

My Truth About Anxiety

Anxiety

Lately I’ve felt led to share more openly my struggles with anxiety. There can be such a stigma (whether real or perceived) with anxiety especially for people like me—type A personality, control freak, assertive, etc, etc, etc. I would much prefer to be the one being leaned on rather than needing to lean on others. But the simple truth is I can’t get through life without leaning on others.

I have been blessed to have worked with an amazing psychologist for the past 5 years and psychiatrist for the past 3 years. Many people have to try out several different mental health professionals before finding the right fit, but my road led me right to the doors of the ones for me. The effect of them in my life cannot be overstated, and I know God’s hand put me in their care.

Even with their help, dealing with anxiety is a daily and usually hourly task (read: battle) for me. I put on a good front, and most people would never know what is going on behind the mask. My anxiety likes to manifest itself in the form of guilt, shame, and doubt. I rely on my husband daily to encourage me and help me differentiate between the different voices in my head—the devil and that still, true voice.

The crux of what carries me through anxiety is my faith. It’s the assurance of the gospel and the salvation of Jesus Christ. It’s that fact that Romans 5:8 assures me that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. And here’s what I have learned but have to relearn daily: The devil is a liar. And not just any liar, the best liar there ever was. He’s so good at lying that in my head he makes himself sound like my own voice: “You’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you don’t have it all together, no one likes you.” And not only is he a liar, he’s a thief. And he’s the worst kind of thief. He’s the kind of thief that steals for no reason and shows no remorse. He’s a thief of joy, contentment, and confidence.

Jesus is the opposite of all those things. He’s not a liar, He IS truth. He’s not a thief, He is a gift. He only wants to take away things that I don’t need and that He doesn’t want for me—the very opposite of the things that the devil is trying to put on me. God’s trust is absolute. As my therapist likes to remind me—if I can’t measure it, it isn’t real. And Scripture gives me the REAL truth.

Here are a handful of the Scriptures I cling to (by my fingernails sometimes) daily and have adopted as mantras. I hope they will help you, too:

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” He didn’t just say it, He declared it! This scripture is one I particularly try to pour into my children.

1 Timothy 1:16 – But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in Him and receive eternal life. Paul thought of himself as the worst of sinners, and this is a lifegiving reminder for me that God has unlimited patience for me. Boy, do I need that patience every. single. day.

Ephesians 3:17-18 (another great message from Paul) – And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. Man, I am grateful for that love that is unfathomably wide and long and high and deep. Doesn’t that just beautifully illustrate how God wants to wrap you up head to toe in His love?

Genesis 50:20 – You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. What a comforting reminder that God is in control of it all. I can’t see the whole staircase, and that doesn’t suit me one bit, but I just have to take the next right step, and God will be right there ahead of me lighting the way.

Our God is a forward-looking God. His mercies are new every morning. Not just when I feel worthy but EVERY morning. And here’s the thing—I could never be worthy. God sent His son to die for me to wash away all my sins. And He sent Him to do the same for every single person reading this right now. But don’t lose sight of the fact, that he did it for YOU, too. Specifically, YOU. You were worth enough to Him all those years ago, long before you were here to send His son to die so that you could have eternal life. And so was I. Like that great ole hymn, I stand on (and often cling to) the promises of God to carry me through the yucky times.

If you struggle with anxiety, first of all, know you’re not alone. Then, tell somebody. Speaking it in the light takes away some of its power, and you may just find that the person you share with is traveling the same road you are. Get professional help if you need it. And last but certainly not least, call out to God for His comfort and peace. Remember Jesus Himself tells us in John 10:10 I came that they (read: YOU) may have life, and may have it abundantly. He wants us not only to live, but to live abundantly. And that means in peace and free from the chains of anxiety, guilt, and shame.

Next time I’ll share some practical tips and methods I use each day to try and manage my stress and anxiety.

Till then, may God hold you in the palm of His hand, and grant you His peace that surpasses all understanding.

With love,

Jennifer

Featured

Stain Fighting and Life’s Small Victories

Stain Fighters

There are few things in life that give me more satisfaction than conquering a tough stain. Since I married Russ 14 years ago, stain fighting has become something of an Olympic sport for me. You may not catch me running the track or swimming laps, but watch out if the prize depends on banishing grease from knit!

Bless Russ’ heart, but he’s something of a magnet for stains—food, dirt, grease, mystery spots, etc. And don’t even get me started on Bo and Georgia. Sometimes I wonder if any of the ketchup actually gets into their mouths at all. Instead of bemoaning my plight in life yoked to these messy little monkeys, I’ve decided to use it as a point of personal improvement. Here are my tips for treating some of the most common (and sometimes uncommon) stains. This knowledge has been amassed from lots of trial and error, learning from the Laundry Love and Cleaning Science Group, and advice from Mama and Mrs. Cynthia (my Mother-in-Law). After all, in the early days of our marriage, I used to send along any tough stains to her that Russ managed to create. She birthed this angel, so it only seemed right that she deal with his stubborn stains. At some point, I decided I had to start dealing with me and mine, so the real work began. Don’t get me wrong, if a button needs to be resewn or pants need to be hemmed, those promptly get shipped off to Mama and Mrs. Cynthia—sewing is not my gift. But now when it comes to stains, I like to view the two of them as my team of experts to be consulted in emergency situations and relied upon for direct intervention only in extreme life and death scenarios. I’m not the least bit melodramatic.

Set Yourself Up For Success

Your first line of defense against stains and the foundation of sound laundry practices will always be a powerful detergent and stain & odor booster. As you all know by now, I like to think of myself as the unofficial spokesperson for Persil. Ever since I started using Persil, I have noticed that my clothes come out cleaner, hold up better, and smell DELICIOUS. To fight stains (especially organic ones), you need to use a detergent with enzymes. Some detergents just don’t have them, or they are too diluted to be effective. Persil is my jam, and I’m sticking to it! Some people have allergies and sensitivities to dyes and fragrances, but Persil has a Sensitive Skin version that is dye and fragrance free as well as hypoallergenic. I use this to wash Russ’ bike clothes.

If you are using a weaker detergent, you may want to add a booster, and my favorite is Biz. This is a great stain and odor fighter and will help treat general dirt and grime stains that you may not have seen to individually spot treat. As I’ve said before, even though I use Persil, I still sprinkle a little Biz in each load because I like CLEAN.

Grease Stains

In our household, this seems to be the most regular stain I have to deal with. Doesn’t my family know WE HAVE NAPKINS (or at least paper towels—I can’t be fancy all the time)?!? For many years, I would treat as best I could with some stain spray, close my eyes, cross my fingers, and toss them into the wash hoping the laundry fairies would deal with the rest. Naturally, this usually resulted in what some refer to as “water spots” which is really just a nice way to say residual grease spots. Then one glorious day Mrs. Cynthia introduced me to Stanley Home Products’ Degreaser. Cue the angels singing. For real. This gets ALL THE GREASE STAINS OUT OF ALL THE THINGS. This comes in a large bottle with an open top—a recipe for disaster if you try to pour it out onto clothing. You don’t want to waste any of this liquid gold, so I like to put the stained area of clothing over the open top of the bottle and flip it over to apply to the stain. Get it on there real good and just. walk. away. It needs to sit for a while to really work on loosening up the grease. I have never had an issue with the Degreaser bleaching or in any way further damaging a garment, and I’ve let things sit treated on top of my washer or dryer for several days at a time. Here’s my strategy—make your family undress in the laundry room after supper and while your husband gets them in the bath, pretreat all stains and let them sit overnight.

My most triumphant experience with the Stanley Degreaser came one tragic night in the form of a pizza box blitzkrieg. Russ and I were about to start Weight Watchers again the next morning, so naturally, we decided to get pizza for our last meal. While we drove home, I held the boxes (yes, I said boxes plural—don’t look at me like that) in my lap. Unbeknownst to me, the garlic bread in the top box was swimming in a VAT of delicious garlic butter and grease. The gap between the top and bottom of the box rested across my chest, and when I got in the house and put the boxes down, I realized I had a 7-inch-long and half-inch-wide swath of grease across the top of my Masters green shirt. It was time for the big guns. I coated that puppy in Stanley Degreaser, gave it some words of encouragement, and walked away. The next morning, I washed the shirt and even dried it. Here’s the kicker with stains—you don’t want to dry the garment until you’ve gotten them completely out. The dryer likes to set in mistakes. But as it often is with grease on dark clothing, I couldn’t tell when it was still wet whether the grease was still there. Lo and behold after drying it, about 25% of the stain remained. Still a HUGE improvement, but the shirt would be destined to become a “work shirt” and not a “wear out of the house or yard shirt.” But enter the beauty and magic of Stanley Degreaser—it turns back the hands of time and erases mistakes! Even after the shirt had been dried in the dryer, I retreated and let it sit again. After washing and drying the second time, the stain was completely gone!!! This truly shows the power of this product to penetrate clothing and release grease. I have had luck with treating bike chain grease, all manner of food grease, and even a cascade of grease down the leg of Russ’ shorts where he hit a bit of a hiccup trying to dump the grease from his griddle. If you add one product to your “special events” laundry section, let it be this! You can order it right from their website: https://fuller.com/the-original-degreaser.html.

If you don’t have this product and have a grease stain you need to treat while waiting for it to come in, you can also try original blue Dawn dishwashing detergent. Dab a little on the stain and let it sit, and it will help to draw out the grease as well. Just be sure you rinse most of it out before putting the garment in the washer—Dawn will suds up like crazy and nobody has time for that!

Ketchup and really any other food that isn’t a grease stain.

Behind grease, Ketchup and Frank’s Red Hot seem to be the next most common stain I have to deal with from my brood. Hands down the best general-purpose stain spray I have ever found is Shout Advanced Action Gel. I try to treat stains as quickly as I can, but this will also get out tough, set in stains. I like to live by the adage that more is more, so I spray, spray, spray on a stain until I can’t even see it through the frothy goodness of my Shout Gel. Like with the Degreaser, I will let it sit on the stain overnight, or until I’m washing my next load of laundry and throw it in. I’d say 90% of the time this gets even massive stains out on the first try. If I can tell that a stain is still there, I will treat it again while it’s still wet straight out of the washer and put it to the side to sit and work till I wash again. I have never had an issue where this product has bleached or otherwise damaged clothing, and I have let it sit for days at a time (the same cannot be said for OxyClean—it makes me nervous on delicate fabric!). There are a few tough stains I’m currently battling that have required multiple washes, but I just check the garment each time I pull it out of the washer, retreat if necessary, and let it sit until I wash the next load. This is available pretty much anywhere, so do yourself a favor, and buy a bottle of Shout Advanced Action Gel TODAY.

Fels Naptha is also a great general-purpose stain treatment. If you’ve never seen this, it looks like a bar of soap and costs 97 cents at Walmart. To use, wet the garment in the stained area (not the bar of soap itself), and rub the bar on the stain. I will rub under running water and reapply the bar a couple of times, usually seeing the stain disappear right away. Fels Naptha also works great on tomato sauce stains which can be a bear to deal with. When in doubt, I spray a little Shout on top for good measure, and let it sit until my next load.

Blood

Not sure why I find myself treating blood stains regularly, but somehow, I do. Hydrogen Peroxide is the ticket here. I keep a bottle in the utility room dedicated to laundry only and dab it on blood stains as quickly as possible. You’ll see it bubble up just like when you put hydrogen peroxide on a cut. I do this several times and rub the spot under running water, and usually the stain disappears before my eyes. I spray a little Shout Advanced Action Gel on top to cover all my bases, and let it sit until I wash the next load.

Wine and Ink

For these sometimes small, but super concentrated stains, I like to use Folex Instant Stain Remover. As the name suggests, if you catch it quickly enough, sometimes you can see the stain disappear instantly! I also have used this to treat the ottoman at my glider rocker in our nursery. It’s a natural linen fabric and after 6 years of rocking 2 babies, it was looking little (okay, a lot) dingy. I generously sprayed this all over the cushion and blotted dry with a white cloth. I was equal parts amazed, obsessed, and disgusted by the general yuck that came off on that white cloth! Now the cushion looks brand new. There was even a small, set in blood stain from a tragic shaving accident, and I was able to get that out with hydrogen peroxide.

Keeping Whites White

I struggle with white undershirts and ring around the collar in white dress shirts. Ring around the collar is a bit easier fix, and I treat by making a paste out of dawn (has to be blue) and baking soda and scrubbing with a toothbrush. White undershirts are another animal because not only do they get dingy, they also have deodorant build-up. White Brite is a great tool for restoring whites. It is STRONG so be careful! Russ uses it to clean the rust off metal, so watch out! In my HE washer, I load the White Brite in the detergent drawer and let the machine fill with water. Once it’s full, I pause the cycle let it soak for 5 minutes (I have to set my soil level to “high” for it to add enough water for them to soak because my machine “load senses”). Lastly, I add the detergent and let it wash as normal. When using this method, be sure you’re only putting whites in the washer! For the deodorant build-up, the baking soda paste with toothbrush trick can help, but some point, they’re just destined for the rag pile.

Color Bleed

Color bleed occurs when dye from a garment leeches out into the washer and is absorbed either by another area on the same garment or onto another garment. This can be prevented by using Shout Color Catchers. I like to throw one into loads of darks just in case, and I will often use more than one if I’m washing a new, heavily-dyed garment. These can also be used to turn back the hands of time! If you’ve washed something and had a color bleed disaster, JUST DON’T DRY IT. Re-wash everything with several (like 3) color catchers. You may have to do this a couple of times, but usually, the dye will re-release and will be absorbed by the color catchers.

Odors

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. By yourself a bottle of ORIGINAL Pine-Sol today, and add this to your laundry routine. It is fantastic at deodorizing everything—sour towels, foul work-out clothes, and shoes. You name it, if it stinks, Pine-Sol can make it smell fresh. I splash a little (about ¼ cup) directly into the drum of my top-loading HE washer and continue as normal with my process. Don’t worry—the strong scent will dissipate after the items are dry.

As you can tell, much of my stain work is trial and error and “a little of this and a little of that.” When in doubt, don’t dry it, spray on a little more Shout Advanced Action Gel, dab on a little more Stanley Degreaser, or rub in a little more Fels Naptha, and wash it again. If all else fails, bring it to my house! My latest victory is saving my Brother-in-Law’s bathing suit. I have no idea what Davidson did to this poor suit. It had all manner of stains including what looked like bike grease and ketchup. It took about 5 treatments, but I’m happy to report that it’s good as new and ready for him to wear and stain again! Take a look at the pictures below of its journey to clean! 😊

D suit beginning 1 — Original Condition 😦

D suit after 1 treatment — After 1 treatment.

Sound off in the comments below with your best stain fighting tricks to share with fellow readers. And if you have a tough stain that’s got your pulling your hair out, post it below and we’ll try to help!
Till next time, may you have a Happy (and stain-free) Home,

With love,

Jennifer

Hurricane Florence

Dear Friends,

As we prepare for the arrival of Hurricane Florence, I wanted to send you all a quick note. Today I find myself wrapping up clients’ needs at work, washing all the things, stacking all the outdoor furniture (or rather Russ finds himself stacking all the outdoor furniture), and in general having a lot of excess energy that I don’t know what to do with.

I hate uncertainty, I hate waiting, and I hate not being in control. It seems these are a few of Florence’s favorite things! So here I am making lists, reaching out to friends and family to check in, and looking for advice.

I have a colleague in Florida who has become a friend, not just a colleague. She’s been there to lend a helping hand with work, has supported Catch the Vision’s mission in Haiti, and has always been so good to check in on me regularly. She checked on me today and had what I think is pretty sage advice. She’s weathered many hurricanes living in Florida, so she knows a thing or two. With her permission, I’m sharing her advice in her own words here with y’all:

Once the power goes out is when the party starts…For about 1 day…then it’s not fun anymore…

If you have a generator, that makes life a bit easier….I did not.

These are a few things I’ve done in the past. (If you don’t have power for a while – I was out for 9 days):

Make sure all your laundry is cleaned…. If it gets hot, just wear your bathing suit!

Run your dishwasher – then try not to use too many dishes,

Oh like that’s easy with 2 little ones running around. HA

Paper plates are not so bad.

Make blocks of Ice.

If you are a coffee drinker – buy instant, it’s better than nothing. Heat water on your grill. So, have some throw away pans or aluminum pans.

Fill your cars with gas.

Get cash.

If you have a gas grill, fill your tanks.

Junk food is King….you can be healthy some other time!

Make sure all your devices are charged. Turn them off if you don’t really need them.

I think that about sums it up! Take care of yourself and each other. Find the silver lining of this unexpected hiatus from our regular routines. And breathe.

Love to you all,

Jennifer

Persil Giveaway!! ❤️

Happy Labor Day, Friends! I hope you’ve been enjoying this long weekend with your family and friends.

Today is the last day to enter the giveaway for one of two coupons for a FREEE Persil product! Head over to our FaceBook page and our Instagram page to comment on the giveaway post. To enter, simply comment on one or both with what your favorite Persil product is! If you haven’t tried it yet, comment with what you’d like to try.

I’d love for you to share, like, follow, and tag a friend (or 3 😘) on our Insta and FaceBook, but just comment for an entry.

We’ll do this super, high-tech by having each of my babes randomly choose a comment for a winner–one from FaceBook and one from Instagram–after the giveaway ends at 7pm EST tonight!

Thanks, friends!! ❤️❤️❤️

My Musings on Laundry

If you asked Mama when I was in high school if she thought I’d grow up to love laundry, I’m sure she would have laughed you out the door. Let’s just say, I wasn’t so concerned with it back then. Somehow over the last decade it’s become something of a hobby for me. I think it’s because it’s my feeble way of bringing order to my chaos and feel in control. You can ask my friends or anyone who has worked with me in a volunteer or professional capacity, and they’ll tell you I’m a control freak. I don’t like situations where I can’t control every detail and where I can’t plan for every possible eventuality.

Laundry gives me that control. I decide the time I’m going to do it, the way I’m going to do it, and every detail down to the water temperature and spin speed. Things may not come out perfectly the first time, but I have a contingency plan to go to next. I can only think of 3 stains I haven’t been able to get out in the last year or so, and they still haunt me.

I think I started getting the nerdiest about it around 7 years ago, just before Bo was born. Our washer had finally died (which I bought second hand in college), and we decided to give our dryer away and invest in a new matching set. I was feeling like a “real grow-up,” about to become a mom and buying a brand new high efficiency washer and dryer. We decided on an HE LG top loader without an agitator. The drum was so huge! I could wash a down comforter inside it! I washed All. The. Things. I will say they’re both still going strong and give me no trouble.

I started asking my Mama and Mother-in-Law for exactly what settings I should use for different types of clothes, how I should sort my loads, and how to treat certain stains. With years of their advice (and more recently the Facebook group, Laundry Love and Cleaning Science), I have developed my own little way of doing things. Here are my tips for great laundry results:

1.) Understand your machine before you get started. Do you have a high efficiency washer or not? A HE will require its own kind of detergent (look for the HE symbol) and will tend to require less detergent than a traditional machine.

Can you control the water level, or does it use load sensing to decide how much water to use? If you can control the water level, you can use that to your advantage when treating certain situations. If you can’t, you just have to take that into account.

2.) Detergent Choices. Some people have allergies to certain dyes and perfumes. If this includes you or someone in your family, then you’ll want to use a free and clear option. I use Persil ProClean Power-Liquid Sensitive Skin in these situations. For my usual laundry, I’m a scent maniac, so I love the Persil ProClean Power-Caps 2 in 1 with Pro-Lift Stain Remover. The smell is SO GOOD. I also use the Persil ProClean Liquid in the Original Scent. I like to switch between the two from time to time so I don’t go nose blind to the delightful smells. (Remember me mentioning I’m a scent maniac?!?)

3.) Additives. I like to use a detergent booster like Biz for added stain and odor elimination. If you’re using a strong enzymatic detergent like Persil, it’s not as necessary as if you are using a weaker detergent, but I like CLEAN! I just sprinkle some on top of each load.

For loads that need deodorizing, my favorite trick is to use Pine-Sol. It HAS to be the original scent. NO OTHERS ARE LAUNDRY SAFE. Check the back of the label to be sure, but there should be a picture of a washer with laundry directions. I like to add about ¼ cup to my loads of towels, rugs, and Russ’ delightful cycling clothes. You will definitely smell the Pine-Sol while it’s washing, but the smell will dissipate after it dries (whether by air or in the dryer). If you’ve got musty towels—this is the ticket! I used to add vinegar to my washer to freshen towels, but there is some research to suggest that vinegar can be harmful to your washer’s seals.

I also like to add scent beads to certain loads—mainly my rugs, sheets, and towels. On top of the yummy Persil smell, this is the delicious icing on the cake! At the moment, I’m hooked on Gain’s Fireworks in the Moonlight Breeze scent. Another favorite is Downy in the Lush scent.

Lastly, I rely on Shout Color Catchers to prevent color bleed. This is especially helpful when there may be a new or darker garment in with lighter colors. These sheets will absorb any loose dye in the water, so it doesn’t land on your clothes. If I am washing something I’m especially concerned about, like a red dress of Georgia’s, I’ll wash it by itself with 2 or 3 color catchers. You’d be amazed at the color these things will be when you pull them out of the washer and grateful those dyes are on them and not your clothes!

4.) Sorting and cycle choice. I like to separate my laundry into 3 categories: lights, darks, and towels. Sheets are always washed alone (but I wash my king set and Bo’s full set together—remember that huge drum? I like to test its limits). If I don’t have enough to justify three loads, I will either combine all into one or combine into 2 by washing towels with my lights (we have mostly light-colored towels). Some may see this as treachery, but as long as I’m not washing a brand-new towel with lots of lent and dye to shed, this has never caused me a problem.

If I’m washing clothes, I use the permanent-press cycle on my machine and choose cold water. I only use hot water for sheets, towels, and rugs (and in those cases use the heavy-duty cycle). I use the bulky bedding cycle for sheets, and the cotton/regular if it’s a mixture of things like PJ’s and lounge clothes and no delicates that I’d prefer in the permanent-press cycle. I see that one as a catch-all on my machine. Again, in all cases other than the heavy-duty cycle for sheets, rugs, and towels, I am manually changing the water temperature to cold. My washer load senses to determine how much water to use, so if I want to manipulate that and have more water for a smaller load, then I change the soil level from normal to high and that gives me more water. This will vary from machine to machine, but if you have questions about specific cycles, leave a comment below.

5.) A word on how you actually put clothes in the washer. I like to button all buttons, zip all zippers, and turn everything right-side out. Buttoning all buttons and zipping all zippers lessens stress on the garment because it’s not flopping around all willy nilly and wide open in there. Turning things right-side out will save you time on the back-end when it’s time to fold and put up!

I use a zippered-mesh bag, for delicates like bras and even certain baby clothes. I like to turn Georgia’s nice things like smocked dresses and other delicate garments inside out and place in a mesh bag for extra protection during washing.

6.) Drying. I hang all delicates, as well as things I’m worried may shrink, to dry and put the rest in the dryer. I use the permanent-press cycle for clothes with low heat and try not to over-dry. Most wash-wear comes from over-drying, and it also causes you to lose most of the yummy scents from detergents and any additives. I use the heavy-duty cycle for rugs and towels, and the timed dry cycle if I want to be able to fully control the time and heat level. The freshen up cycle is for things that have sat in the dryer and need a re-fluff before folding and hanging them. On my machine, this is a short 20-minute cycle on low heat.

I believe that about covers the basics! Thanks for reading, and please leave a comment below with any of your tips to share with fellow readers and any questions you’d like to see answered. I hope you’ve found a tip that will be of help in your Happy Home.

Next in this series will be stain removal tricks followed by tips for staying on top of laundry so it doesn’t become overwhelming!

May your laundry always be fresh!

With love,

Jennifer

Laundry Line-up — Here are some of my favorite laundry products and a preview of some of the products we’ll cover in the stain removal post!

Welcome to Lakay Kontan!

In Haitian Creole, this phrase means Happy Home. More than anything, that’s what I want to create for myself and my family, so it felt like a fitting title for whatever this new “thing” is.

I love a lot of things. I love my husband, my babies, my friends, and Jesus. I’m passionate about a lot of things and interested in a lot of things. Sometimes I think if I could cut off the top of my head and look inside, it would be a tangled highway of all different colors, sizes, and types of cars, vans, and trucks zooming in all different directions. It would be hard to pick out a pattern or what makes them all go together because at first glance they would all seem so completely unrelated that they couldn’t possibly be part of one parade or caravan.

And I think that’s ok. I think it’s ok to be a walking contradiction at times (at least I hope it is). But I also think that if you look closely enough you would begin to see that even though all those thoughts and interests and goals were different colors and sizes and types, they were all connected by one thing. The desire to love and be loved. I’m working on understanding myself better, being kinder to myself, and taking better care of myself. What I’d love to do is build a community of others who are just figuring it out like I am. Come along with me on my journey to help and heal myself. Please know that the goal is not for this to be a “self-help” space, because who I am to help anyone else? But I pray that you may pick up an idea or two that is helping me that you can use to help yourself as well.

Without further ado, I have to start somewhere, and what seems to be top of mind lately is LAUNDRY. How’s that for a segue?!? I love doing laundry. It brings order to my chaos, and helps me feel in control, if only over stains and smells! What began as a comment or two on friends’ Facebook posts asking about detergent recommendations or stain-removing suggestions, has turned into folks sending me their laundry questions.

I. LOVE. IT!

You can tell when you’ve skated onto a topic I’m passionate about when I can’t hush my mouth about it. They may have sent me a one sentence question, and they got back 5 paragraphs of explanations, options, and contingency plans. I apologize in advance, but I always say, “When 10 words may do, why not give them 100?” I can remember Ms. Joy Pilkington, one of the most fantastic teachers to ever walk the face of the Earth, helping me edit and cut words from my college application personal statements. They may have set a limit of 500 words, but I simply couldn’t explain myself with any less than 750. I guess I’ve always had a lot to say, and I hope this will be a place where it will be ok to ramble till my little heart’s content about everything from laundry, dishwasher filters, and the many uses of vinegar, to Haiti, mental health, and saving money online.

I think I’ll start my first post with 101 laundry tips, so feel free comment below with questions, or send them to LakayKontan@gmail.com.

Till then, may your stains always come out!

With love,

Jennifer

P.S. Here’s a look inside my head at that highway with all those cars. Feel free to send me any feedback about any of the topics you see below that you’d like to see me ramble about in the future!

Things I’m passionate about: Haiti, coupons, Jesus, laundry, breastfeeding

Things I’m interested in: my mental health, homemaking, etiquette, kids’ clothes, cleaning hacks, outdoor living, gardening, travel, skin care, lipstick

Things I’m learning/re-learning to love/new interests: meditation, Weight Watchers (again…), re-upholstery, homesteading, the Enneagram, Walmart Grocery Pick-up, Morningstar Farms

P.P.S. Special thanks to my Haitian friends, Louis, Phillipe, and Judy, for help with naming this project. Thank you for putting up with my many messages on the nuances of Haitian Creole. Love you three!

Louis and me on top of a bus tying down loads of mattresses in Haiti. I’m sure you can’t tell I’m terrified of heights.